…and just like that, in a seemingly impossible contraction of the space-time continuum, my baby girl is 5!
My Baby girl – and yes, I know you’re not a baby, but you’re always mine.
You are 5, such an exciting time of your life. You are learning, and growing and exploring this gorgeous life that you have been given. I am astounded by you – you show determination and tenacity (living up to your in utero nickname) – ever so slightly impatient with yourself (I recognise myself there) but you delight in goals achieved and accomplished.
This year after leaving your preschool, you have started at Prep school, you love your teacher, Mrs Williams; you’ve made lots of new friends, and have established yourself as a leader and enthusiastic student. In terms of your physical development, you are the tallest girl in the class, are a good little swimmer and you are now riding your bike without fairy wheels! Emotionally you are also maturing, I’ve seen how hard you try to control the tears, which like mama’s come too easily when you are cross, frustrated and annoyed. I’m proud of you, my girly. Friend wise you are a sweet friend, you play well and especially love outdoor play on the jungle gym with your friends. Magiacl unicorns, fairy dust and monkey bars – all in a day’s play in your imagination.
Thandi, I know I’m often not at home, and sometimes miss out on things, but never doubt how much your mama loves you. You’re my favouritest girl, and I love you 1, 2, 3, 4 – ever.
…this was a mixed weekend of work (1 baby), running (15km), playing with stuff for T’s party, and dealing with my sore hip.
Sunday did herald the start of birthday week – it started with TJ’s, tomorrow is Thandi’s and friday is both mine and TJ’s daughter, Charlottes big days. I think I’m in for a week of rocking and rolling! Thank heavens most of the party stuff is all done – have 1 piece of sewing to finish, party packs to fill and then cakes to bake. Nearly there! And Dr HF is coming to visit for the weekend, so I’ll have a helping hand! (Little did she know she’s going to be working!)
Anyway, like I said, a little bit of a ‘meh’ weekend. And now it’s Monday, my last day as a mother of a 4 year old…
…I am the queen of FOMO. My buddy BC is running the Comrades – after I convinced her to enter. I am not. She’s been training up a storm, she’s running like a demon. I am hobbling, I am running like a slothful sloth, and then sometimes even slower. I am under few illusions about what would have happened to me if I had qualified and then attempted to get to this race. Yet, I am feeling incredibly disappointed in myself, very sad that I didn’t achieve that goal… Aitog!
Being a Type A is sometimes a huge bloody burden!
…life seems to balance itself out. After teetering on the edge of an abyss last week, this week, although, not far from that edge, I am no longer teetering. A few good endorphin producing runs, some good creativity, and some sleep (and wine) and I am feeling a bit better.
The creativity has all been related to Tink’s birthday party planning. Our theme this year is Little Miss Sunshine (of the Mr Men and Little Miss series); and it has been so much fun to play with ideas. I’ve done 99% of all my painting work – having worked on a photo booth, a feed Little Miss Greedy station (and made 1 of the 3 felt donuts they will try to throw through her mouth), a pin the crown on Little Miss Princess station. The only thing to finish is the Little Miss Whoops piñata, which just needs filling and sealing. I’m putting bouncy balls into it, instead of sweets, looking forward to the chaos when they all go bouncing across the garden! Then over the weekend I worked on the fondant figurines for the cake. I know I could outsource all of these sort of things, but they’re actually super fun to do! For the first time I worked with Rice Krispie treats to make the main figurine – and that was pretty cool, especially since even TAFKAD, my baking guru and go to lady hadn’t done it before, so there was lots of pouring over tutorials on line to get the best ideas. It seems to have worked well, fingers crossed it’ll keep until next weekend! The rest of this week will be filled with sewing, (table clothes and bunting) so that this weekend can be dedicated to baking – biscuits, fudge, rice crispy treats (yes more!), smudge, so that next week my work load is reduced to just the cake! Phew! Actually it’s not sounding too onerous. Let’s just hope the weekend on call is reasonable and I get my baking done!
(I even roped Charlie in – he’s made a lemonade stand and a sign – welcoming everyone to Laughterland!)
In my next life I think I want to be a party planner!
…and I was nervous, and I felt inadequate on starting, and I was worried, in fact, if I hadn’t promised a lift to a friend, I would have rolled over and ignored my alarm, but, oh my word, it was good! It was an good (enough) run. It was liberating. And then I did it all again on Sunday. And it was also good.
The rest of the weekend was filled with party planning, journalistic endeavours, soup making and sleep. What a pleasure!
…it’s amazing what an impact a little good exercise can do for you. I woke up yesterday morning to the gentle trill of my alarm clock at 04h30, tried to roll over, and my guilt laden conscience would not let me, so with adolescent school going reluctance I sprang out of bed and enthusiastically put on my running kit! And off I went, trying hard to have a delaying accident on the way to the meeting point, with a spring in my step.And before I had rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, we were off. I started off with my usual self doubt, started a conversation with a medical colleague, and before I knew it we were 7.5km into our run. My hip was tweaky (according to my physio, I have age related bloody degeneration of my hip – grrrr!), but I was maintaining my pace, and really enjoying my run! 10km and we were climbing back into the car and I was grinning like a goofy boy after seeing the girl he likes. Ah, my mojo, I have missed you! I know that I can loose you again easily, but please stick around!
That said, my day was good. I needed that after the noisy desperation of the last few days…
…I cannot post a post like yesterday’s one without saying thank you for the outpouring of support from all of you guys. Thank you. A couple of truths from the comments – our quest for perfection and ‘zero defect’ (the panasonic effect) is self defeating. I am able to recognise my position, but have little insight (not the right word, I know) into saving myself. But perhaps that’s where the truth is, I have safety net to catch me, I should rely a little more on my people. Thank you.