Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Running out

…of words.

The stuck record in my brain is driving me insane – I’m tired; I’m stretched; I can’t but I must; I don’t want to, I do want to; do I have to? Aitog. So bear with me if I don’t say much, I am bored by myself.

In other news, last night I got to meet and listen to Timothy Maurice last night; he is a branding strategist and was talking about personal brands, our role in society as women who can and do change the world, neuroplasticity. After the talk, I was left stimulated and inspired; so much so that I immediately bought his book on personal branding. And I was also left challenged by what he was saying about motivations and rewards; and I was thinking about how to motivate my running; because in winter, despite my health issues, the feeling of a warm bed is very difficult to challenge at 4:30 am; so I am trying hard to find a motivational way and allow my brain to mould to that. I was also challenged when he spoke about one’s personal brand and how there are 3 components – 1. the inner bits (wisdom, education, skills, talents), 2. the image (both looks, clothing, but also your presence) and 3. the connections you have (your family, your friends, your colleagues); and how all of these things interact to create your personal brand. I realised that there are areas where I am lacking, there are areas I have made positive changes and that there is no arrival point, it is a constantly evolving thing. Nice to acknowledge where I am, but good to realise I am not there yet. So I have lots of food for thought; and hopefully this may help out with my first paragraph.

Disclaimer

  •  Maybe I am so late to this journey, but as a doctor we have zero training in this sort of thing.
  • Intuitively there were some things I had realised – misery loves company and will drag you down – don’t hang out with the miserable colleagues, they will kill off your passion and love for work.
  • Although I keep up to date with my CPD activities, but I feel like it has been insufficient. I need more maintenance on number 1.
  • I do too much other stuff which detracts from my core self.
  • Bear with me as I think I am going to be verbalising some of my journey to develop and mature my brand.

(Timothy’s book is Personal Brand Intellegence (PBQ) – worth a look)

Saying goodbye

…so we have a few more hours with our friends before they fly off to Germany, ‘for good’ and I put that in inverted commas because it won’t really be forever. At this stage, I know they would love to come back to SA – and that’s maybe a 4-6 year plan. And we are already planning trips together – they are joining us for 5 days in Scotland! And let’s face it, social media and all its trappings have made the world a very small place. So thanks to Skype, FaceTime and what’s app calling we are just a bit and a byte apart.

But, it still is going to sting, I’m going to have incredible sad and lonely days; Thandi will miss her bestie, Charlie will miss those quiet masculine times with his bro; but I’m choosing to look on the bright side – Scotland is a mere 11 weeks away! (You take the high road, I’ll take the low road, and I’ll be in Scotland before you!)

I will remember our days of laughter and fun. Days of doing exciting things together, fun and laughter, a very occasional tear and lots of lovely wine we shared.

 Our crazy days of getting tattoos together and sharing so much love!

I never had a sister, but I have been blessed by a sisterhood of friends, and you are a very dear sister to me now! Now travel well, and come home soon!

Freedom

…from school traffuck! Flip, I am so enjoying the smooth ride to work, I can leave 10 minutes before I have to be at the office, take my leisurely time in the morning, indulge in another 5 minutes in bed, which given how chilly the mornings are at the moment is a good thing. Another week of rage free roads.

The weekend is ahead – Jacqui and her family are here from CT for a couple of weeks, I am really looking forward to that. I miss these good old buddies who live too far away! So there will be some catching up; there will be some farewelling of the Germans; there will hopefully be some running, if my scratchy throat behaves; there will be some chilling and hopefully some lying in a sunny spot pretending to be a dassie.

Take care, and keep warm, my blogsters!

So where am I

…in this journey of mine?

Our German friends are leaving on Monday. We were away with them in the Karoo over the weekend, they continued their break and got back yesterday. They’re staying with us, and it is all a little intense right now. I am not looking forward to them leaving.

I need to sort out the visas for our trip – Spanish and UK for me, UK for Charlie and Thandi. Although, if Charlie sorted out his passport then I wouldn’t need to sort that one out.

My dad continues to be miserable. Depressed, sad and lost. I am still out of ideas there.

My running is ok. I am needing to start to increase the mileage; the Loch Ness Marathon is in 11 weeks. I can do this!

My headaches are a bit better. It appears that they have been largely caused by my latest ailment – hypertension. It’s a diagnosis I am extremely pissed off about – I am fit, only slightly overweight, eat well, exercise well and only battle with work stress. Grrr… But I am more than happy to take the treatment, because it has helped my head, and I have seen the ravages of what hypertension in Dawny.

 

Back and (still) blue

…except it’s now a lighter shade of blue – sky blue… Karoo sky blue…

Blues

…I got ’em, baby. Deep navy blues…

Flip, I am feeling like a stuck record – even to myself; but it is what it is. I was chatting to a friend on my run this morning, and even she concurred, I have had a rough year. Yes, there are some awesome highlights, but with the background loss, I am feeling those blues. And if I don’t get my dose of endorphins, I am a snivelling wreck. Stress management is so damn important, but I am failing at it. Currently I am even finding planning my holiday to Scotland stressful! So running, reading, sleeping… I just figure trying to add anything to that schedule will add to instead of lighten the load. I just wish that before a run I would feel empowered and excited, instead I wake up and try to find an excuse – which if I capitalise on (a snotty nose, a sore leg, too tired) compounds those blues.

I also wish that my inability to not do anything would slow down a bit, just a little – last night I was having an ams conversation, trying to sort out the last few holiday things before I can book our appointment for visas, watching TV and trying to relax! Oh, and be on call… Who am I kidding? And I still feel guilty that I haven’t hauled my sewing machine out and worked on a photo book and….

Anyway, this morning I had a tough session combining hills and speed work – it was incredibly life giving! Grabbing  take away coffee at Seattle on my way home rounded out my pre 6:30am morning. Now just to trust that my 8:30 – 12:30 day is sweet too!

 

58

year anniversary. Today would have been my parents 58th anniversary…

A lifetime of love and family. Dad and I both had a weep yesterday, he’s so lost without you; and I can’t fix him. He, like me, is wrapped up in what he perceives other people’s opinions of him to be – I’m a burden, I’m a third wheel, I’m a nuisance; I hate feeling like this. And I keep trying to figure what you would stay to him, how you would have motivated him to pick himself up and rise again. I’ve begged, I’ve pleaded, I’ve nagged; I’m not winning. Mom, help me please…

(This photo was taken of the AYPA (Anglican Young People’s Association), where my parents met – 60 years ago. Pops in the front row, seated on chairs on the far left, and Dawny back row, 6th)