Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for April, 2010

More speedbumps…

… and treatment won’t be starting this month:-(

Special delivery

Today I am delivering a special little lady into this world, her mom and dad have waited a very long time for her, and today is her birthday. To W&D, your persistence has paid off, I am so honoured to be welcoming your angel into the world, may your joy grow! Thank you for allowing me to be part of this journey with you.

Back to the salt mines…

I’m back at work, and can’t say I’m thrilled at that. My tummy is still sore, and is sorer than I anticipated for this stage of the game, and the jumping up and down, sitting and standing isn’t helping, but hey, best I get on with it. Also having the phone ring exactly 2 minutes after I turned it on at 6 this morning with news of a labouring patient didn’t do much to ease me in to the day. A healthy little boy was born later this morning, and that was nice! (although I did feel like I might pass out…) And then just to round out the day, a patient’s daughter dismissed me as her mother’s OBGYN, after I had already done all the necessary investigations and treatment, basically because I had a bad news diagnosis for them. Can’t win ’em all  I guess. (although being type A I will beat myself up about it for a while still.)

Remembering our freedoms

This morning on the Gareth Cliff show, they were remembering things about apartheid, its is just amazing how far we have come, and how our little country is a beacon of hope for democracy, and the processes that got us here. While I’m not a denialist, and certainly we are not without our problems, but take a look around, and consider 16 years ago, when we made the first crosses on the road to democracy and peaceful transition, its remarkable. I still remember queuing outside a church hall in Parktown in JHB, getting ready to cast my first ever vote, and what an election to be my first!

Today is a gorgeous day, and we are heading off in beautiful sunshine to celebrate our godson’s, and his 2 brother’s birthday.  Happy birthday to the terrors of many mother’s daughters (one day) L, B and not so little J. Have a good day, in the midst of all the chaos. Look at the cake I baked for them.

Recovery

Its day 3 post op today, and I feel much better. Friday I was sore, mainly on the inside, yesterday the cuts on the skin were a bit worse than the inside, and today has been better all round. I chaanged my dressings today, so sad to see stitches in my beautiful tummy (all for a good cause), but the cuts are healing well, and look clean.

The drugs have been crazy, one of the painkillers has some caffeine in it (so that you’re not fast asleep half an hour after taking them) and that kept me totally wired yesterday, if I hadn’t made myself go to bed, I would have gone all night. So today I didn’t take any of those, (didn’t need them really) and managed a delicious afternoon nap.

Tomorow I have taken another day off work (yay for me) and am going to see how the driving goes, shouldn’t really be a problem though.

With holes in my tummy…

… I am home, and pretty glad about that.

We arrived in our neighbouring city yesterday, windy, rainy, miserable (matching my mood) and we headed straight to DB’s rooms to get checked out pre-operatively. It’s never nice, but once it was done, we discussed our tentative plan depending on the outcome of my surgery. From there we checked in to our B&B, and then it was off to be admitted to hospital. It was encouraging to note that its not only our hospitals at home that suffer from bed shortages and staffing crises, but I was given nice attention, and made to feel very comfortable. After the premed, things got hazy, and after the discomfort of the drip and the propofol (milk of amnesia) going in, the next thing I remember is waking in recovery with a sore tummy. An injection, and I was back to sleep, before heading back to the ward. between dozing and the blood pressure machine inflating every half an hour, I slowly started feeling more human, and was reading my book when DB arrived to tell me all about it and show me the pictures of my insides. I have grade 2 endometriosis (more than a little, but not so much as to cause damaage to my uterus and tubes. It seemed to involve mainly my bladder and left ureter, so he did a big dissection there, and resected what he could, so my symptoms (dysmenorrhoea mainly) should improve. He assessed my tubes, which are patent, and my ovaries, which he says don’t look like ovaries which have failed (which is what I have thought all along, that my blood results and the clinical picture don’t really correlate – nice to have him agree with me on that.) We also have a plan going forward, our next cycle is going to be a stimulated AI (artificial insemination) cycle, which means oral meds and injectables to me first, to see how I respond, and then an insemination.

I feel much more at peace now. I was so worried he’d look in my tummy and tell me there was either nothing wrong, and I was just imagining things, or that things were really dire inside, so I am satisfied with our findings. I am also incredibly relieved to have a plan, incredibly. I am such a type A personality, that the unknown was driving me mad! So here we are, at home, in bed, with holes in my tummy.

And now, my oscar moment. To all my friends, thanks for the messages and support, they have meant a lot, and carried me through some of the scary times. To my surgeon, thank you for being so kind and attentive to me, and comforting and allaying my fear and for formulating the plan.  To my angel Charlie, thanks for being there every step of the way, thank you for pouring me water, holding my hand, stroking my forhead and keeping me safe; thank you for getting me safely home, and despite all your work pressures, being there.

the restart button

I don’t know about you guys, but I am a compulsive computer cards player, I can spend hours (and I mean hours) playing solitaire etc… its a good little escape. It doesn’t mean I am a particularly good cards player, just compulsive… But the function that appeals to me, is that little restart button, you know, when you start a game, and you can see its going nowhere, you press the button, those cards magically disappear, and new ones appear. Sometimes they’re better, sometimes not, but if they aren’t, you just press the button again, and so on…

I’m very happy with my current choice of game in life, I adore the players, but the cards are a bit sucky, and I’m a bit bummed there isn’t a restart button here, where we get to choose young vibrant ovaries, normal body chemistry, healthy swimmers. I wish Charlie and I didn’t have to face this, I wish I could wake up tomorrow, and not be on my way to surgery, I wish, I wish so much…. But I do have to and must face this speedbump. The only consolation, in the absence of a restart button, is that after tomorrow, there is a plan. And that counts for a lot, living in limbo has been rough.

So tomorrow, when you’re rolling out of bed, hustling the kids to school, remember us, as we head down to DB, and prepare to go under the knife.