Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for January, 2014

Mulling

…over things. mull, mull, mull…

I’m really becoming exhausted living with the amount of stress and tension that the current medical litigation situation is generating. I am tired of it. I try my best for my patients, things go wrong occasionally, complications and side effects happen, especially if one is seeing enough patients; but it doesn’t mean I am a bad doctor. The world, however, seems that it would like me to feel like that. Adverts on TV, radio and in the print media are driving me to distraction. interactions with patients are charged with a defensive edge. Sleepless nights follow… I am tired of this situation, and aside from quitting, I don’t see a solution…

Food experimenting

…so this weekend I did some experimenting. Charlie and I since early January have been eating a bit of a LCHF/paleo programme. You know, eggs for breakfast, salads for lunch and protein and salad for dinner, with protein snacks in between. So far it is working well for s in terms of a reduction in IBS symptoms (probably on the basis of dropping gluten) and weight loss (Charlie is over 6, and I’m on about 4), but it gets a bit monotonous, and for me, who loves being in the kitchen I’ve been downright miserable, not being able to cook and play. SO this weekend I did some experimenting. I stocked p on a whole lot of unusual ingredients, and started on Friday with a chocolate mousse, made with avocado and raw cacao, sweetened with a touch of honey or stevia. It was delicious, and one of those things, if you didn’t know there was avo in it, you would never have guessed! I topped it with some cacao nibs – nice for a bit of texture and crunch, and I could definitely envisage a berry coulis or something like that, complementing it. On Saturday I made some brownie bites, these were an interesting recipe with eggs, almond flour, coconut oil, raw cacao and honey or stevia again. and they hit the spot, served with a dollop of almond butter. Almond butter is like peanut butter, but about 50 % more palate sticking! (but very tasty) And then last night I made a staple of this kinda diet – Oopsie bread, which Charlie described as just like a McDonalds burger bun, so I reckon a success. Made with eggs, cream cheese and psyllium husks, its was as good as it gets in terms of bread. SO my soul sang a little, experimenting and seeing things turn out well was good. Ready to tackle this week now…

 

Poetry

…this morning, when a certain someone was again calling us from down stairs, first because her bed was a mess, then just to tell us she was there, a quote from an old poem crossed my mind, ‘…day is already so deep with involvement’. The poem is about 2 lovers, he is saying to her how he loves to wake up with her, with the sun in her golden hair, but how he hates to get up and begin the day, leaving the quiet uncomplicatedness (if that’s a word) of their bed, because the day is so deep with complications… That was my overwhelming feeling this morning. I did not want to leave the confines of my bedroom, entering into the steamy humidity of this busy summer day…

A night in the life of an OBGYN

…so I was on call last night. It wasn’t the greatest night, but it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever had. But I have woken up this morning feeling like a new mom all over again. Tired, bleary eyed and cranky. Ugh.

It didn’t start too badly, a phone call or 2 from the wards with fairly arbitrary medicine requests, then there was a strange admission from someone with pain, at 18 weeks gestation, but no physical signs to justify her pain. Curious.Then there was another admission – a patient with ruptured membranes, who didn’t seem to be in labour – just as I was about to go to bed. Then there was the 02h30 call to say that she was pushing – find clothes, keys and screech to the hospital, to finish off the delivery. Home again, then it always seems to take me a while these days to fall asleep, so finally after playing a few rounds of Candy Crush (god, it’s addictive!) and I’d just drifted off, when there was a call regards a panic attack happening in a patient who had recently delivered. AT 04h30, it took a lot for me to figure out who I was, nevermind medication options. That left me awake, again… And at 05h30, someone was singing good morning in a certain melodious tone of scream at the bottom of the stairs.

Oh boy. And today, I have another patient in labour, and an emergency gynae surgery this afternoon. It’s shaping up to be a long day. And I’m hungry…

Wednesday, wednesday…

…I wish you were Friday. Although all things being equal, so far, this has not been a bad day – 3 babies, a 4,5km run, some shopping in preparation for my dinner party and lunch with Charlie. I’m now at the office, and I guess I should do some other work. I’ve been wondering – while I was pounding the treadmill this morning, listening to some tunes: do any of you exercise to music, and if so, what’s on your playlist? I think mine needs some editing, it doesn’t seem to be carrying me through those kilometres very well. I don’t listen to my iPod while I run on the road – I like to listen to the sounds of the world – the barking dogs, the tweeting birds, and one needs to be alert to the approaching cars, but I do enjoy the distraction in the gym. Saying that, f%&* me, but its hot and humid at the moment, and it’s a battle to run, any time of the day.

Playtime

..that’s what this weekend was about – playing! Which was awesome!

Friday evening I ran a 10km night race with a (very patient) MJ, she coaxed me through the run, even when I was really battling and ready to quit. Thanks, my friend! I ended up with so much pride in myself, that I am glad we did it, and even though my time was pathetic, knowing that I’d not quit and sat on the couch really made me smile!

Saturday was a poignant day – not really my story to tell, but we scattered the remaining ashes of my dad-in-law at sea. It was a perfect afternoon, the tide was high, the seas were beautiful and calm, and with a sprig of rosemary (for remembrance), a letter from Charlie to his dad and a tot of whisky,  we scattered them over the blue waters, to wherever the currents will now take him. It was a quietly moving afternoon, and one I will cherish for a long time. Thank you for sharing that moment with me, my love…

While we were at sea, Thandi played at Dawny and Pops’s house – played and swam and played and talked and played. We headed home and then went to our neighbours for dinner – Thandi and Becksy played up a storm, until it all went to hell in a handbag, someone was very tired, and had a total sense of humour failure – a frantic call to Noxy and we took her home, where she collapsed in a heap in her own bed.

Sunday was gorgeous! After an early rise, I ran down to the beach, met Charlie and the tribe there (Thandi and Noxy and Litha), after a quick splash about it was home for a rest, and then a fish braai with our German friends. Thandi and Charlotte played up a storm, swimming until their lips were blue, their teeth chattering and their fingers and toes prunified. We relaxed, and had a wonderful meal together, it was a good day! My girl collapsed in a heap, as did we, and not a thing stirred until this morning… Perfect!

And now the working week awaits! Have fun!

1001

I cannot believe I have blogged for so long, and that I’ve had some much to say. Probably if you ask my family and friends, they are unsurprised. I have found blogging to be great therapy over the years – I’ve been able to process things and deal with issues in my own little way, finding the right paths for me through a little self examination. Blogging is selfish, I get that, but I like to think that if you’ve stumbled across me as an infertility blog or a parenting blog, or a foodie blog, a medical blog, you’ve found something that touched you. For my friends, I hope you’ve enjoyed the snapshots of my life, of our lives – Thandi and Charlie and I.