Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for just moaning

The thing is

…it’s just not easy at the moment. Salut is closed. My mouth is sore (I saw the dentist today and he’s not sure what is going on). My running is tough at the moment (I am putting in extra effort, but feel like I am not seeing any rewards). Work is stressful. I am tired. Bear with me, there will no doubt be a few indulgent posts (woe is me kind of stuff) to come as I try to figure out what is going on in my head and my heart; because nothing feels like it should at the moment.

rehab

…for my body that is! Nothing gossip-worthy here!

I saw my chiro this morning for some needling. OMFityF! Let’s put it this way; there were tears, it was all so sore; and actually it was a bit better this morning than it has been. Thank God he had been in London last week when my legs were really bad. McHottie worked some magic, laughed at how badly my muscles were spasming (not in a nasty way, in an OMG I can’t believe what I am seeing kinda way), and has now left me feeling really tender and bruised. Let’s hope that tomorrow I will feel a little better. Running needs to just keep ticking over in the background. 5 and a half weeks to the Loch Ness Marathon!

(Let it be said I am seriously looking forward to some warmer days – I am so tired of running in the cold! You are all welcome to remind me about this when I am moaning about how hot and humid it is in summer!)

Monday Morning

….HYPERTENSION! Flip! I really hope karma is a nasty traffic officer! I am so tired of people feeling entitled to break the law, turn left from a right turning lane! There is this one intersection on my way to work; and drivers really behave like complete and utter douches there. Turning from the wrong lane, they clog up the traffic even more; and then give me strange looks when I try to stick to the law and drive as the traffic laws dictate. As though their time is so much more important than mine and the 3 seconds they may save by performing an illegal turn are crucial to their day. Oy! A rather annoying start to my Monday!

In saying that – the weekend was insane. I was super super busy on Friday night and Saturday (work wise) and then, poor Thandipants started throwing up on Saturday night; so all in all – just revolting! She was ok the rest of yesterday, but threw up again at 4:30 this morning – poor chicken, and all she wanted to do was not vomit so she could go to school. I’ve let her go in, but she was looking a bit pale and washed out. Let’s hope she’s over the worst of it!

Ok, time to get this week going!

An injured runner

…is a rather revolting person…

Guys, I am struggling so much! From an amazing high last week to the depths of misery this week. Legs are still so tight I can hardly walk. I am doing as much as I can, but things seem to be stuck. I had to bail out of my run this morning; I am so frustrated! Not the happiest of chappies today!

Contrasts

…delivering a 24 week premature baby girl last night who lived only minutes; and then slapping on a happy face and delivering a post dates bouncing baby boy. Sometimes I just can’t…

Blues

…I got ’em, baby. Deep navy blues…

Flip, I am feeling like a stuck record – even to myself; but it is what it is. I was chatting to a friend on my run this morning, and even she concurred, I have had a rough year. Yes, there are some awesome highlights, but with the background loss, I am feeling those blues. And if I don’t get my dose of endorphins, I am a snivelling wreck. Stress management is so damn important, but I am failing at it. Currently I am even finding planning my holiday to Scotland stressful! So running, reading, sleeping… I just figure trying to add anything to that schedule will add to instead of lighten the load. I just wish that before a run I would feel empowered and excited, instead I wake up and try to find an excuse – which if I capitalise on (a snotty nose, a sore leg, too tired) compounds those blues.

I also wish that my inability to not do anything would slow down a bit, just a little – last night I was having an ams conversation, trying to sort out the last few holiday things before I can book our appointment for visas, watching TV and trying to relax! Oh, and be on call… Who am I kidding? And I still feel guilty that I haven’t hauled my sewing machine out and worked on a photo book and….

Anyway, this morning I had a tough session combining hills and speed work – it was incredibly life giving! Grabbing ┬átake away coffee at Seattle on my way home rounded out my pre 6:30am morning. Now just to trust that my 8:30 – 12:30 day is sweet too!

 

Adulthood

…really can be rather disappointing. On days like today, I feel the need to stamp my feet and protest, like a small child, but one can’t. So instead I am pulling a face at the world, behind it’s back, with my fingers stuck in my ears.