Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for family

Crazy and quiet

…this was a weekend of contrasts – moments of such peace and quiet – awesome – to moments of pure blind terror and chaos! It was insane! By last night I was feeling a bit odd!

Friday had been a lovely quiet youth day. Saturday Morning was the busiest time on call that I have had for a long while (preterm twin caesar delivery; an emergency caesar for feral distress to discover a mother bleeding out, a horrible miscarriage)! Sunday started well, and then ended with some drama with a planned home birth being brought to hospital, only to have her deliver in the parking lot, to everyone’s consternation!

The rest of the weekend was nice – had some good family time with my daughter – shopping for Father’s day gifts for Charlie and Pops; playing monopoly on a cold Sunday afternoon; preparing a roast dinner for Sunday lunch for the Dads. She is such a sweetie pie – we are having the best time with her at the moment. So interactive, so kind, so sweet, so intuitive.

12 sleeps

…to race day. Flip! The nerves are now mounting! 2 oceans – I’ve waited a long time to run this one, let’s hope I get it right. Had a good long run this weekend, felt tong again – and then had a club brunch, where we discussed the run – it made it very hard to swallow – because my heart was in my throat. The club coach brought up my brother, so now people know I have a ‘pedigree’- pity I’m the runt of this litter. Anyway. I have my pacing chart from my boet, and I think I will get it right. 56km is a very long bloody way! We leave for the Western Cape on Saturday – I am looking forward to the break from work. We are dragging my Dad along with us – and will drop him off in Hermanus with my brother – I am also relieved to be ‘off the hook’ in terms of responsibilities for a week. This weekend he seemed to be doing a bit better – but I am very aware of his bad days too – last week I had him on the phone and I could hear the tears in his voice… My big strong dad… A good break may do him the world of good!

 

watching him

…watching me. guys, my Dad is falling apart, unsurprisingly… But it so hard to watch this happen. Yesterday I got the comment about there being nothing left to live for. I’m not sure how one is supposed to respond to that…

There isn’t an answer, I guess; I tried to remind him that he is indeed blessed, and that there are things to live for, even if Dawny isn’t there. I popped in last night, reminded him how to use the microwave, heated up a woolies instant meal, and made him sit down and eat it. I always thought my mom was the stubborn one – I’m realising he’s pretty hard headed too! I’ve convinced him to come away with us for the long weekend, but I can see his reluctance and general depression just getting him down. I hope he has a decent break with us, and in the quiet of the bush, finds he has more reasons than he imagined to carry on.

Head in the game

…it’s time to get my head into this game – the 2 Oceans marathon is a month away – and I need to get my head straight, so that my training happens and so that I am mentally ready for this challenge. It feels monumental.

I had a mixed weekend – a good Saturday, and then Sunday hit me, leaving me very blue. Tearing up and sad – I retreated to the couch and indulged myself with a nap and a long read… By the afternoon I felt a bit bad that Thandi was being subjected to this boring day, combined with an irritable and teary mom, so we baked a cake. Not any cake, mind you, Dawny’s chocolate cake… And then the tears flowed…

And every bite had her closer to me.

I miss her so.

Making her happy

…if there’s one thing that will make my mother happy, is watching how the relationship between her children has changed. We are closer, talking (ok, messaging – we all hate the phone) more and just loving more. If that makes sense? The 2 nights I spent with my brother were just so good. Nothing spectacular, nothing dramatic, just nice. We had a great run together early on Wednesday morning, and he adjusted my laces to see if that would help with my foot ‘cramp’, and it was just so nice. Damn, we must be getting a bit sentimental as we grow up! I was just thinking that I really hope we are one day close to each other geographically when we retire, so we can spend lots of time together…

 

Mixed weekend

…from highs  to lows, my daughter had them all this weekend. So we had arranged that our Noxy’s daughter came to spend the weekend with us – it had been her birthday this last week, so it was for a bit of a celebration for the 2 of them. We wrapped her present up, I made some quick party packs, and on Saturday morning (after buying a new oven – more on that later…) we fetched her from the taxi rank. Oh, what excitement, what a cute reunion. They really are a  bit like sisters, Litha and Thandi – having lived together for 3 years! And they had a fabulous day – colouring in tackies (have you seen them, so cool!), watching the ballet show on DVD, playing, building, colouring, pizza with friends… so much fun. Sunday started somewhat subdued, I think they both knew what was coming – after breakfast, we dropped Litha back off with her mum. They seemed ok, I guess, at that stage the high of the visit was still there; but by last night, oh dear, the tears, and the heartache. I sobbed with my little lady. It is so hard to watch her experience the loss again – and now with more understanding – in the morning Litha would be heading off to her own school, and it will be many weeks before they see each other again. Oh, my poor girl.

It’s at times like this that I think about how different my little family would look with another child; and then my heart aches all over again…

80 Candles

…sparkling on that birthday cake in heaven, Mom… Miss you every day and so wish we having that tea party with all your friends today. Instead I will try to comfort myself with Thandi’s thoughts, of the most beautiful cake that you get to have – the most delicious, most pretty which you’ll be sharing with your family – what a party it’s going to be! Tell that sister of yours not to misbehave too much, see!

Dad’s coming for supper tonight, and we’re having a delicious roast for dinner. We will celebrate anyway – I think I’ll shed a tear – too many already today. img_3271

Oh mom…

(PS I managed to qualify – 2 Oceans, here I come! More on that to follow tomorrow)