Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for family

Tired

…I am tired of being a Moaning Myrtle, so until further notice, assume things with Pops are as before. He’s grumpy, resistant and angry, and irrational. But physically fine

The weekend was fine, one baby on Friday evening, one in the early hours of Sunday morning, so not too awful. We had supper with friends on Friday (delicious tuna fillets seared on the break with a divine asian salsa), and on Sunday Thandi (with some help from her sous chefs, aka Mom and Dad) made chicken curry and rotis for lunch. It was delicious! A real triumph! I am so pleased she is learning about cooking and loves being in the kitchen, long may it last! And all praise to Lou, the PA who taught her how to make it.

 (I was worried about the rotis, wasn’t sure they would work out as well as were hoped, they were perfect, better than I have done in the past!)

 

When will

…the dark days be over? Florence, with apologies to your machine, please tell me?

Seriously, I’m not sure how much longer I can end my day in tears; tears of anger, guilt, frustration and love all rolled into one ugly snivelling mess. The old man is so not himself, and is getting further and further away from the man he used to be. He is so far removed from my dad that I can hardly accept it. And it’s wearing me down; much like a boiled sweet after a few minutes in the mouth, I feel almost transparent, at the point of fracture.

At this point I am ever grateful to my Charlie for being the most incredible husband and son-in-law he could possibly be. He has patience, far more than I will ever have, is kind and caring; and the old man listens to him. Who else would go and check on him, when I am sitting the couch with tears of worry rolling down my cheeks at 8pm one evening? And reassure me with love and kindness, not resentment? I am very lucky to have this man by my side.

homecoming

..so, the gods be praised, Pops found his marbles and has arranged them back into some semblance of normal play, so he gets to come home today. But a home that will look remarkably different… A home that will now have a carer. Something he will hate, but is the condition of his discharge. I reached out to my brothers yesterday and the one is flying in today until Wednesday, the other arrives next Friday. So looks like things are settling down. I hope…

 

Resilience

…the old man is resilient. (and that’s a really nice way of saying stubborn, and fricking difficult) So, cardiac wise, they are happy, and he is stable. He could go home. But, he has developed a severe delirium on top of his early dementia. So yesterday he was angry, aggressive and nasty. This morning he was funny, but edging closer to being scary again. And this afternoon – wham – scary again. Anyway.

I am using this opportunity to get the psychiatrist in to assess him too, so at least I am throwing stones at some of the other birds. He’s seen him, they’re doing a CT scan, and then we will see. Obviously we need to get on top of the delirium really quickly, and once that is settled, we can get him home again. And then the next set of fights begin.

I am too scared to go and see him again today. I can’t do it…

Fragile

…”I’m feeling terrible, out of sorts.” “I’m coming over” “Yes, my chest is a bit sore, I’ve got terrible indigestion. Now that you mention it, my fingers are a bit tingly.” “I think we need to go to the hospital” “Oh, okay.”

This was the conversation between Charlie and my Pops yesterday. And thankfully my husband got to him quickly, got him to hospital, and within 26 minutes they had diagnosed his heart attack and he was on his way to the cardiac unit. He had an angio, was stented and is currently recovering in ICU.

Life is bloody fragile.

Birthday weekend!

While I’m not convinced of the wisdom of 2 birthdays so close together, I know this weekend was amazing!

Thandi’s party on Friday evening was amazing! And surprisingly less work than I anticipated. The kids had a blast, and I’ve had lots of moms telling me their kids insisted they cook some of the recipes with them. So success! They children stared by making a dinner roll, decorated with poppy and sesame seeds; then the red team made meatballs in tomato sauce; and the blue team Parmesan chicken. (I cooked a big vowel of spaghetti with it all) and for dessert, both teams made chocolate mousse. (a quick setting Nigella one with mini marshmallows) While supper was in the oven, the kids had a taste test which was hysterical! Between broccoli, gherkins, cheese and chocolate, they laughed like drains! A really successful party in the end.

There you have it, the cake, the party and the goodie bag.

The rest of the weekend was all fun and games. Other birthday parties, a family picnic and lots of baking!

And today we vaguely remember my birthday.

The next instalment

…so the ED went to see Pops, who made it quite clear that he really has no intention of moving into the retirement village, so essentially I am stuck in this very difficult situation. He is adamant that he is content, not lonely, and has gotten used to being on his own; and there is nothing we can do to convince him otherwise! I’m sad, and I am disengaging.

The weekend was an on call one – 2 babies joined the world, 2 little girls! It is an honour to be involved, I have to say. Although I really do still wish babies would arrive during working hours. Oh well, 11pm on Saturday night and 5:30 on Sunday morning made for a tired, headachey Birdy yesterday! The rest of the weekend involved ballet rehearsals, a birthday party for T, and some meetings for me, but made it through, and now it’s Monday. Here we go! It’s a BIG week, school ¬†book dress up day (she’s going as The Worst Witch), Founders Day at school, Thandi’s birthday, her party; another party and prep work for games day at school. (I’ll post lots of pictures!) Give me strength!