Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for January, 2013

Today’s position

… so today I can say we are off! Off to JHB and the RHCP concert; and off on another IVF journey. I have discussed the situation with Dr DB, and he says go, go, go! So go, we do. This may change at any point, so bear with me!

Dawny is looking good, slowly settling down, it’s going to be a long walk to recovery.

Confessing…

…that I have been planning things behind all of your backs. You know last year when we did our ABF (Absolutely Bloody Final) IVF cycle, I was relieved. A chapter in my life had drawn to a close. Never again would I go through the agony of another cycle. I could breathe and live and plan again. Until my dear Dr DB asked to reconsider our position, that he thought he were great candidates to keep trying. And with that a whole new kettle of worms was opened. After some to-ing and fro-ing (well, actually not much at all, because we are those patients that do what our doctor says) we started to prepare for another cycle… Since December I have been on the pill to try to redce my hormone levels after they were once again high on day 3; I have been on DHEA, which has made me feel life a greasy teenager again and Charlie has been on his staminogro vitamins. Dates and times have been calculated to within an inch of their lives. And then Dawny broke her hip.

So Charlie and I have been in limbo – not really sure what direction to turn in – if we don’t proceed in February, as we have planned, our next opportunity will most likely only be June/July, which is crazy far away and who knows if my damn ovaries will still work then; If we do go ahead now, we do it on the background of this stress, my healthy eating has gone out of the window and I am bone tired.

So what will it be? Today I can say yes, we’re doing this thing now, stress and diet and exhaustion be damned. Tomorrow I might change my mind. What I do know is that in the end it will be alright, whatever happens.

of daydreams and delusions

…so Dawny is getting better, slowly, surely improving; with which we are all mightily impressed. But man those odd delusions catch her out! Last night’s was very funny; unlike her last surgery experience where it was terrifying! So last night we arrive for visiting time (Pops and I) and she immediately shushes us as asks what we’re doing there, “Can’t we see what is going on? There is a hostage situation unfolding; that man (the woman opposite her in ICU) has a gun and has taken everyone hostage for sleeping tablets!” She doesn’t know what’s going to happen, but it’s serious (said a few times when Pops and I started giggling) and it’s quite scary! “You know, there are just a few women here, who is going to protect us?” Anyway, we reassured her, and calmed her down, and I thought we had deflected her imagination by the end of visiting time, except, as we were leaving she shooed us along – “Go, go, while you can get away, go!” Man, the old man and I had a good giggle about it. And she finally made it to the ward last night too, yay for progress!

 

Hospital diaries

…despite being a doctor, I really dislike hospitals. I’m not scared of them like some people, but I dislike them. The atmosphere around them seems drained of air, and I always feel empty by the time I leave. Even more so when it is a visit to the ever depressing ICU, and mom is confsed and sedated. Hate those bloody places.

She has come through surgery well. The anaesthetic was fine, the surgery uncomplicated; but she’s an old, very frail lady, and medications knock her, being in a place that is always daytime disorientates her, and I just want to bring her home… But she isn’t ready for that yet. We are hoping that today she will leave the ICU for a general ward, and then her rehab begins, with physio and eating properly. I really can’t beleive we are doing this again… really can’t…

I’m also just struggling to accept how ‘on hold’ my life becomes – one weekend away cancelled, the next one (supposed to be heading to JHB to watch the Red Hot Chilli’s) in jeopardy, and, and, and… and that’s just selfish of me….

Thank you

…for all the support and love after my post here and on facebook  yesterday afternoon. Dawny is doing ok, she is scheduled for surgery this afternoon, so spare a thought for her…

Tempting fate

…so I tempted those fates, and this morning, minutes after my post appeared, my mom fell and has broken her other hip… I am devastated, shattered and so disappointed. And scared. We face surgery tomorrow for her…

Relieved

…one more sleep till we escape to the bush with friends. 3 hours in the car, and we will be hidden away in the Eastern Cape, hopefully getting pampered and well taken care of, while we relax and catch up. Rather looking forward to the trip, and it’s going to be a good practice run for Thandi for our trip to the Serengeti! Let’s hope she enjoys it!

It’s been a busy few days, there has been some planning, some gifting (lots of birthdays coming up) and some running (yay!). Tuesday evening was just perfect, so as I got home I said to Charlie I’d meet him and Thandi at the local beach. I pulled on my tackies, hit the road, and really, really enjoyed the moment. It felt good to stretch the legs, work up a bit of a sweat (okay a lot of a sweat) and get some fresh air. I found them down on the beach, Thandi was completely in her element, running in the waves, digging in the sand, making mud pies. It was absolutely perfect down at the beach, and filled with people and children, and happiness. It was hard to drag ourselves away! What magic moments are made of!

Yesterday was a theatre day, followed by a bit of a run around, before I hit the rooms again. In the evening we tried the revamped organic eatery with my namesake, and had a very nice evening! The food was good (camembert and blueberry tart, rack of lamb with roasted veggies and creme brulee), the wine delicious (De Grendel Rubaiyat – magic, if you can find it…) and it was good to catch up. Today after work I’m hoping to get another run in, then its to pack for the weekend! Yay!