Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for August, 2014

Nothing

…to see here.

They say “If you have nothing nice to say, keep quiet.” So apologies. I have had an incredibly difficult week, I am tired and at my wits end, and I face an unplanned weekend on call.

Double Argh!

…throw into my mix a now vomiting husband.

I think I am going to go crazy! Yesterday’s run was interrupted by a delivery, Thandi is being, well, a 3 year old, my parents are being a bit grouchy (had them round to dinner last night), my husband is sick, and I am swamped at work! Help! Tonight is book club, lets hope the girls enjoy what I am putting up for supper.

Argh!

…sick Thandipants (gastro); sick associate (appendicitis); way too much work!

Weekend in the bush

….ah, what a good, life-giving weekend it was. Loved the time off!

So Friday afternoon Charlie, Thandi and I headed off to a game ranch near the local university town. We left home in a howling gale, and we arrived there in a howling gale. Ugh. Anyway, we arrived at 17h00, in time for a decent G&T! Our German friends were already there, and so our weekend began. We relaxed in the lodge with our hosts, who are the most delightful folks. After Thandi and Charlotte had  played up a storm, they were run through the bath, and then bedded down, before we sat down to our dinner. We tucked into some delicious venison, and relaxed over a great meal. After an early night, with that gale continuing to howl, Charlie, M and I went for a run over the farm – it was freezing! After a hot shower and breakfast, we headed off to look at the sables on the farm – they have a breeding programme – wow, they are beautiful antelope! The farm is in the midst of a winter drought, and rather desperate for some rain, so they are feeding the sable at the moment to supplement the very meagre grazing.024 A game drive, lunch, a nap and another spectacular dinner ended Saturday. Sunday dawned cool and overcast with smatterings of rain, which M and I got caught in during our run. We made it to an animal shelter, waited a few minutes, there seemed to be no real change in the rain, so we bucked up and made it home, Frozen again! After breakfast the girls went for a long horse ride (or horse walk, I should clarify). They had such fun! Look at the smiles! 032 030 037

And then it was home time… 039 Evidence of an awesome weekend!

Dear Diary

… you know, for a while now I have been writing fairly light heartedly. It feels like my commitment to blogging has been somewhat half hearted. I haven’t tackled a meatier subject in a while.

I read a post the other day, written by a woman in a similar boat to me. She is also a professional woman, not thrilled with where she finds herself working, and struggling with the idea of only one child. It got me thinking…

In my dreams, I always imagined 2, maybe 3 children, filling my home with noise, bubbles and laughter; the occasional wail too, but lots of love. It’s been an adjustment to turn off that dream, one I probably haven’t finished making. ( I reckon I am 95% there) Make no mistake, (and this is where lots of people do make a mistake) I am intensely grateful for my awesome Thandipants, I am under no illusion as to what a miracle she is, the child that science said shouldn’t have been, and every day I celebrate the miracle that she is, but knowing that I will raise her without a sibling is hard. Now bear in mind my brothers are a lot older than me, and were at boarding school when I was born, so I suppose I was also raised as virtual only child, but I still have my brothers who I can call on when I need them. They may live far away from me and we may not be close, but there is a commitment to family, that I know will rise above all those sorts of challenges, should the need arise. Thandi will never know that… When the chips are down, and we are old, she will be on her own, making decisions about us and our care (hopefully she’ll have a husband, and maybe those twins she keeps talking about), but essentially she will be our daughter alone, making those tough calls. Last night I heard that my very healthy dad needs a hip replacement. He will be 2 weeks post op when I am running in Cape Town, when he won’t be able to drive and neither can my mom! What a relief it was to get on the phone to my brothers and just talk through it all with them, so they know, they can come and lend a hand if they want to, but I have shared that burden of care.

Agh, life throws us curve balls, and things don’t always work out how we imagine them, and I guess that’s the challenge, how we rise up to them, and cope with altered and adjusted dreams. She will never know different, and neither will I. It just hurts too much to dwell on the ‘might have beens’ and ‘if only’s’. It is what it is, I am blessed, but that doesn’t stop the heartsore.

Phew

…is it just me, or has this been a really long week already? I think I’m just taking strain after last weekend on call, but I am exhausted! I haven’t even got up to run at 05h00 this week, and every day feels like I did!

So this weekend we are going away, to a little game farm we know and love! Thandi is super excited because her friend Charlotte (and her parents) are coming too; and the owners have a delightful book about Walter, the Farting Dog! Hehe! I think we are going to hear that story over and over again! T (Charlotte’s mom) and I have a project to tackle this weekend, and that is to cut out and pin our daughters’ mermaid tails for a mermaid party they are both attending. So yesterday we spent some time at the gorgeous smelling fabric shop. I love the smell of material like that! So we have meters of blue and green and purple organza. I hope its going to turn out well! I also hope to get some off road running in on the farm; fortunately there are no predators on the farm, so as long as I don’t disturb the breeding sable, all will be good!

Now just to get through this morning, so I can get to a long awaited and needed facial this afternoon!

Celebration recap

…and a good celebration was had last night. I made it home early-ish, so Charlie and I went for a trot to test out his new garmin watch, but he had set some weird and wonderful things on it, so after 2 minutes, it started bleeping telling him he had hit the upper heart rate limit he had set, which drove us crazy, so after another 2 minutes of not being able to figure it out, he turned off the heart rate option, and we enjoyed a pleasant run together. As we got home friends and family popped in for drinks, which was really nice; and then we headed to tapas bar for dinner. I just have to say that it is incredible how our tastes and habits have changed over the last 8 months. Last night we shared 8 tapas, and even that was actually too much, (previously it would have been double that!) I had 1 glass of wine, which was probably also too much, and some coffee, which totally pushed me over the edge! How my body is changing!

Anyway, I am full of yawns today, I am tired, and tired of feeling tired. The weekend cannot come soon enough!