Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for April, 2018

Complicated

…why is grown up life so complicated? Why are relationships so tricky to navigate? What happened to meeting someone on the playground, thinking they look nice, asking, “Can we play together?” and there you went? I’m increasingly finding adulthood tough. As much as I try to simplify things, somehow in the background, things get all tangled up and complicated again. It’s kind of like necklaces left in a jewellery box, they always get knotted and tangled – sometimes I calmly slowly untangle them, other times in pure frustration I rip them apart, breaking the chains in a puddle of red cheeked embarrassment. My husbuddy always tells me I am my harshest critic, and I set too high a standard for myself; but somehow the world always looks at me, and I seem to fall short; and get told as much. (Yesterday someone told me that no-one really likes me out there, but she still thinks I’m a good doctor…)

Somedays I really do think there is something very wrong with me…

( I really am not looking for any sympathy here, but am just left wondering how it is I always seem to fail the people I care for, be they patients or friends or family; or even myself)

You know

…you’re missing your German bestie when you host Supper Club and theme it Germany!

So Saturday night was Supper club.

We are a core group of 3 couples with similar aged children, and occasionally, at the host’s discretion, a guest couple may be invited. How our club works – the host decides on a theme, and does the main course with the other 2 couples doing the starter and main. It’s a nice way to entertain, and a once way to guarantee 3 amazing courses.

Our menu on Saturday was

  • Starter – UB couldn’t decide what to cook, so she did 2 starters, a pickled red pepper and mushroom ‘salsa’, served with a spicy sausage on a cracker; then a brie cheese ball, served with a poached pear and berry coulis, both delicious! She did say I had pushed her out of her comfort zone with the theme, but I think that’s a good thing too!
  • Mains – I did beef roulade (made from scratch with a recipe from one of the German grannies and a FaceTime tutorial too!) served with spaetzle and sauerkraut. (I had a made a lovely fresh cucumber salad, which I forgot to serve!)
  • Dessert  – GK made a yummy black forest trifle – I love cherries and chocolate!

All in all a good meal, good company, and sadly because I was on call, only a splash of wine.

Wednesdays

…are my call night, but they are also our regular date with another family, the SuperK’s (I nearly called them the SpecialK’s, but realised that could really be misconstrued!) Last night we met at their house for a movie night – they have recently renovated their TV lounge – nice couches and recliners and an enormous TV (I didn’t even have to squint!). What a nice little hump in the week – we ate a curry that Charlie had cooked and watched an ozzie movie, called Red Dog – I really can recommend it – the kids laughed and cried (as they would in an animal movie). Thandi and Alexa (the eldest K kid) loved it, Chelsea, the littlest K was very sad, worrying about the boy and the dog (and no, I’m not going to give more away about the plot), but it was really sweet. It’s nice not to watch another animated flick for a change, not that I don’t love those too!

An Ode to Endorphins

…seriously, guys, those things are the best. I am a still a long way from a good place, but I am in a better place. I am busy, I am very stretched, but I am doing a bit better. Some consistency in terms of exercise makes all the difference. After my long run on Sunday, I had a slow recovery run in the dark on Monday morning (flip, winter is just around the corner!), and then rested yesterday. Today I have done an hours training with my trainer, and a yoga class. This does mean though, that I feel like I am falling behind on all my chores and tasks; but I have been a bit more empowered to ask for and therefore get the help I need. No need to be a matyr.

So, anyone up for a run in the dark with me tomorrow again?

Weekending

… I had a very morbid post that wanted to go up on Friday, but we all know that old adage – misery loves company, so I decided not to give it the space in my brain.

The weekend was busy, but good. Friday night we celebrated 2 birthdays – 1 of an angel gone too soon, and another of an acquaintance. Things got a bit crazy, 4 G&T’s later, we stumbled into bed rather late. On Saturday Thandi had a kiddies party in the morning, then we all had a good afternoon nap. (That might have been the highlight of my weekend! ) I cooked some super lamb shanks for dinner – I haven’t done that in a while; and we had a good feast!

Sunday I got to play on the Wildish Coast (not quite the Transkei, but way off the beaten track) Guys, it was awesome. Loved it!

Then I got home to lunch and supper prepared by my cute family! We did have an excursion for a milkshake as a spoil after 27km!

A new day

…Ok, enough of the naval gazing and feeling sorry for myself, I know I am busy, tired and frustrated, but dwelling on that is not going to make me feel better, only worse. My jaw feels better today, I will win, eventually. (next trip to the dentist is next week – groan!)

I am 2 weeks away from my now annual Wild Women on the Run journey. We are running from Kobb Inn to Anchorage over 3 days, about 100km. i am desperately in need of some Transkei time, not sure about the 100km, but hey. It will be good to bond with some old and some new friends. I am hoping to not be the sweeper again, but if I am, cést la vie, I’ll cope with that. A new WW friend, Dr Brain, a fellow medical colleague and I have been training together. Today we are hitting the gym for a session with Gusto (my personal trainer) and then a yoga class, hopefully I will be able to walk and breathe tomorrow!Dr Brain gave me some  awesome advice 2 weeks ago, which has really stuck in my brain, she said, “Birdie, stay in your lane”, those were the right words at the right time. I am going to try hard to not let my journey be derailed by someone else’s expectations of me.

Beautiful people, it’s Thursday, have a goodie!

Woe is me

…I hate to be a downer, but I am feeling sorry for myself. This last 9 months has been really tough, healthwise, and I am really hoping, that kind of like one of my pregnant patients, I am going to emerge after this time, to reclaim something of myself. So I think I mentioned that I was diagnosed with whooping cough – just as my whoops were lessening, I came down with a cold – on the day of 2 Oceans in fact. So just as the one cough started to abate, so the next one began. I am so tired of coughing!

Then about 6/12 ago, before we visited Scotland I was having some dental woes – one root canal and one extraction later, Inwas bruised and battered, but feeling better. So finally, last week Friday I headed to the maxfax surgeon for the start of the implant he was going to site, to allow the crown to be fitted in another 4 months time. He x-rayed the site, was happy, inserted it, (lots of drilling and awful noises!) and off I went. Happy, until yesterday, when I had so much pain, that within 8 hours I had had 3 doses of myprodol, celebrex and I was still in agony. I made it through the afternoon, barely, and then headed off, back to the maxfax guy, who could see no apparent cause for the pain, so it was a case of vasbyting, but not biting! I had a torrid time last night, I was nauseous, I was fainty (hot and cold sweats, blood rushing in my ears), I was sore. and I had taken way too many painkillers!

Somehow I made it through the night, despite having to go and do a caesar at 02hoo. and loaded up on meds again this morning, somehow I have made it to lunchtime feeling ok. I hope that is the worst behind me.

But guys, seriously, I am so tired of being ill – hypertension and all the issues I’ve had there with treatment, whooping cough, colds, dental issues. ENOUGH! I just don’t know how to make myself strong again – I take vitamins, I eat good wholesome food – too much, I acknowledge, I don’t overdo the alcohol, I exercise, but I don’t sleep well, but none of this is different. Can I get a trade-in for this broken body of mine?