Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Archive for just chirping

When will

…the dark days be over? Florence, with apologies to your machine, please tell me?

Seriously, I’m not sure how much longer I can end my day in tears; tears of anger, guilt, frustration and love all rolled into one ugly snivelling mess. The old man is so not himself, and is getting further and further away from the man he used to be. He is so far removed from my dad that I can hardly accept it. And it’s wearing me down; much like a boiled sweet after a few minutes in the mouth, I feel almost transparent, at the point of fracture.

At this point I am ever grateful to my Charlie for being the most incredible husband and son-in-law he could possibly be. He has patience, far more than I will ever have, is kind and caring; and the old man listens to him. Who else would go and check on him, when I am sitting the couch with tears of worry rolling down my cheeks at 8pm one evening? And reassure me with love and kindness, not resentment? I am very lucky to have this man by my side.

My awesome kid

…man, she is the coolest! So the last 2 weeks have been rough, between school concerts, Pops being ill and work being fairly insane, I am trashed, but this little lady of mine keeps smiling and shining.

The last week of school saw us at the school concert – how I got that right with a parent in Icu and an insane workload, I am not sure, but anyway – the theme this year saw the girls perform in a ‘talent show’! The school has a theme for the year – Make your mark – that each and every person in the school makes a mark – kids, teachers, support staff, everyone. They have really embraced it, and its a great lesson for the kids to learn. So the show ran like this, each class had a slot in the talent show – a dance, a poem, a song. Thandi’s class were divided into 2 groups – the sailors and the zebras. Thandi was a sailor, but man, did she want to be a zebra – their little poem was super cute; but she made her mark as a sailor. The winning ‘act’ was of course the teachers who came on singing and dancing, with the headmistress leading the way. They evoked shrieks of laughter – great fun!

Then reports came out, and I am so blessed to be able to say academically I do not have to worry about my girl. She did really really well, is reading way above her age, and that will always stand her in good stead. Tomorrow she has been requested to attend a Singapore Maths workshop at the school, where one of the head honchos from Singapore is coming to update the teachers. She is lucky.

I am lucky. I love my kid!

(PS – if you have kids, or if you don’t, do yourself and them a favour and watch Wonder with them – its a stunning movie with some powerful messages – never judge a book by its cover, be kind and be true to yourself – we shed some shared tears last night, T and I)

homecoming

..so, the gods be praised, Pops found his marbles and has arranged them back into some semblance of normal play, so he gets to come home today. But a home that will look remarkably different… A home that will now have a carer. Something he will hate, but is the condition of his discharge. I reached out to my brothers yesterday and the one is flying in today until Wednesday, the other arrives next Friday. So looks like things are settling down. I hope…

 

Fragile

…”I’m feeling terrible, out of sorts.” “I’m coming over” “Yes, my chest is a bit sore, I’ve got terrible indigestion. Now that you mention it, my fingers are a bit tingly.” “I think we need to go to the hospital” “Oh, okay.”

This was the conversation between Charlie and my Pops yesterday. And thankfully my husband got to him quickly, got him to hospital, and within 26 minutes they had diagnosed his heart attack and he was on his way to the cardiac unit. He had an angio, was stented and is currently recovering in ICU.

Life is bloody fragile.

Winter is here

…so I have to love the city I live in, we have the mildest weather, but I have to say, winter is here! I chose this morning to join my running group again for the first time since early April. It was 6 degrees C! Man, that is cold! (qualified to say, I know it is not cold in terms of a global picture, but to be out there in lycra and all, in my neck of the woods, it was cold!) Typical that I would chose our coldest morning thus far to get out there. But I did it, and can I just say, I love endorphins! I have missed them these last 8 weeks. It will be a long slog back to fitness, but I am ready for it!

In other winter news, I have made the change to a heavier duvet for the colder nights now, and I am loving my new/old winter wardrobe! It’s nice to be able to haul out some of those warmer clothes I haven’t looked at since last winter faded away. I hope the rest of you are all keeping warm; and for those in the Northern hemisphere, enjoy your light summer days!

Overwhelmed

…by so many things. I can’t comprehend how this year of mine, this year of the #nodramallama has exploded. The busyness that I’m experiencing usually only hits in about November, and I am very nervous that the rest of the year is going to continue at this pace. I have had some deliberate attempts to slow things down, some have made a difference and others not. I’m beginning to think that breaking an arm again, like I did when I was pregnant with Thandi may be the only chance I get of a meaningful break. Flip!

Anyway, things that are coming up – school concert, ballet rehearsals continue, I am involved in that art exhibition, and I’m feeling some kind of weird pressure because we are not going away or doing anything during the holidays, and am feeling guilty about that! So I looked at the Grahamstown Festival programme, and I just feel totally overwhelmed! I can’t decide on a thing! I’m feeling rather pathetic actually.

I know I really need my exercise endorphins back!

A start

…I did it!

Slow, lots of walking but it was good to get out into the autumnal air for some freshness and rejuvenation. I now have lots of fitness to regain and kilograms to ungain, but it’s a start.

This morning my body knows I did more exercise than it has become accustomed to, and I’m a bit achy, but so far my hips seem to be holding up. Today I meet my biokineticist again and hopefully that goes smoothly too.

Watch out! I’m back and motivated!