Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Maternal guilt

…flip, it’s a killer! After a really crazy week in terms of after hours activities and responsibilities, I was feeling like such an awful parent last night, and when I went into T’s bedroom to kiss her goodnight, to see her shiny teary eyes, I felt even worse, and ended up having a good old sob.

It all started with a call from my brother on Monday reminding me that friends of his were arriving to stay at the beach house on Wednesday; which meant that Charlie and I had to get out there to clean and tidy up, check that everything was in order – you know how it goes – a holiday house stands, the geckoes run riot, things get dusty; so we were out there on Tuesday night, sweeping, moping, making beds, tidying up, putting some groceries into the fridge. I had anticipated we’d take an hour, so we thought we’d be able to grab some supper on our way home, but it took 2 hours, by this time it was 7:30, so I thought, instead of supper – a roll or a quick pie at the local beach spar – but it was already closed, so our poor child fell asleep in the car on the way home, hungry and exhausted. Terrible mom. We did stop then at the local (closer to home) KFC and she demolished a quick chicken pops before heading for bed, way later than she should have.

The next disaster was on Wednesday night – we had our usual supper with friends, and went out for a change to a local curry spot. Dinner went well, and mom had a treat lined up at home for afterwards – a malva pudding cupcake, which T had chosen herself; except when we got home it was gone – assuming our domestic ungoddess had either eaten it, or not even realised it was in the box, and tossed it out. Poor child. Off to bed without her dessert; and way after bed time again!

Yesterday we were all tired and bit bedraggled, after trying to sort out T’s passport renewal, and then dashing around trying to do some quick groceries, in a freezing cold gale that was blowing everyone’s  senses of humour away; we got home, and and after watching a bit of TV, supper turned into a trial of mom and dad’s patience. After finally finishing her required bites (swallows would be more technically correct) of her tomato soup through tears (hers and moms), she headed off to bed (on time at least last night!). And when I went to kiss her goodnight, that little face looking up at me with shiny eyes, saying she was ok, she was crying because her heart was happy (which I know was just a story), we had a good cuddle and hug and I then bawled.

This morning she is bright eyed and bushy tailed with not a care to be seen, but this mama heart is guilt wracked…

I’m hoping a weekend of love and cuddles and we will all feel better!

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5 Comments»

  halberts2014 wrote @

Aw man, so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle.
Kids are so forgiving but it’s hard for adults to forget that we have hurt their feelings at some stage or another.
Here’s to a better, more relaxed weekend. It has indeed been cold this last few days. If I could wear anymore jackets I would. Can you layer jeans??

  MamaCat wrote @

I wear leggings under jeans if needed. Not had to do so in while though.

  Surita Greyling wrote @

Aarrgghhh – that guilt!! Doesn’t matter what you do – it is always niggling – asking if you can’t do better.
If you are cold it means we are going to get it this weekend…

  MamaCat wrote @

The guilt, sometimes in can push you right into the ground.
Kids forgive easily and love unconditionally. We have had a food battler ever since HB was a baby. I have learnt to let him be and not fight over food and make him eat. It is just not worth the stress and fighting.
You will be better.

  Deblet wrote @

Ag flip Mom guilt is the worst. I can feel mine building up already as SARS very kindly opens the day after school closes for the holidays… I usually get a few days to try and do holiday stuff with the girls before all hell breaks loose.


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