Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Rolling

…in the deep. I feel a little like I am trapped under a dumper of a wave, and I can’t figure out what’s up or down anymore, and I am running out of air; and I am being rolled about and slammed into the sand and rocks under the water. Something happened this week that has left me shaken – on a public Facebook page I was defamed, and you know how it goes – someone says something awful about you, but you end up shutting up about it, because to tackle the idiot would only draw more attention to the matter. The admin of the group it was on eventually deleted the post, but it had been up for 5 hours, I am left wondering how many people saw it – patients, potential patients…

Then last night something else happened, I can’t get into it – but I am shaken to my core. It all relates to something that happened 4 years ago, but I have realised that a lot of what I thought of people is false. Not everyone is kind, not everyone is understanding, not everyone cares. In fact very few people do, and it hurts when you realise that these are the people you are supposed to close to.

I hate knowing people dislike/hate me and don’t give me the opportunity to salvage  the situation. Misunderstandings happen, assumptions screw things up; but I falsely assume that people don’t like harbouring hate, brewing resentment and hanging onto anger. Clearly they do… And clearly I am not a very nice person to have so many people think so little of me.

I’m left feeling isolated and very lonely; rolling about on a stormy ocean floor.

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6 Comments»

  charlie wrote @

mwah!

  runnermum wrote @

Ohhh no Birdie. Don’t, don’t let people get you down. Here on our blogs we are truest form of ourselves. And you are an amazing person.

“Die hoogste bome kry die meeste wind”

Lots and lots of hugs.

  MamaCat wrote @

Try not to let them drag you down. You know the person you are and you know that are good.
Try to dwell instead on the good things in your life and the good things you do.

  halberts2014 wrote @

Ag no man, this doesn’t sound nice at all. No ones like the feeling of being disliked.
And then I suppose the whole Facebook lot jump on the band wagon and people you thought were friends suddenly have a lot to say about you but I bet not a lot of people would stand up FOR you.
Any friend or patient will know the kind of person you are and it shouldn’t influence their opinion of you.
Just another bump in the road. I hope this defamation post doesn’t cause too much upheaval.
I think a lot of people don’t want to get involved, and so appear uncaring, because they don’t want to get dragged into things. We also keep our distance, kind of in fear of actually being asked to help. Everyone is trying to protect themselves and no one really helps anymore. It’s sad.
Sending huge virtual hugs

  Deblet wrote @

Ai man so sorry……I hate shot like this when people attack you and it’s out for all the world to see.
Trolls loom in the shadows always waiting to get to us.
Big hugs pull those big girl panties right up under your arms and get on with those awesome birthday party arrangements and f#### the rest.

  Alexandra wrote @

Wishing you strength to get through this.


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