Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Working weekend

…this was a stressful working weekend. I was faced with one the most taxing patients I’ve dealt with, and this after a week of medical tragedy last week – a still birth, a neonatal loss for one of my perm moms, and then this – a late miscarriage in evolution for a naturally devastated patient. With a soundtrack of very loud (because the louder you sing, the more God notices you) hymns lead by her Nigerian pastor and healer, I was the prophet of doom, bearing bad news and woeful tidings… It was tough.

My reserves are so low. I just manage to built myself up to a vague semblance of normalcy, where I can put on a smile and go out into the world, and then an event like this spirals me down again, and I become a brittle snapping automaton. I don’t like this at all. I’m mean and detached and end hop hurting those around me that I love… And so the spiral down speeds up…

Sometimes I really don’t feel like I add much sunshine and happiness to the world.

5 Comments»

  runnermum wrote @

So sad that you feel like that – I know that words won’t really help – so here is a big fat virtual hug.

Please enlighten me – what is a late miscarriage in evolution. Google couldn’t help me…

I hope you feel better.

  charliesbird wrote @

Thanks for the hug!
It’s a second trimester miscarriage – this pt is 22 weeks – and it is still happening – as in not yet over… And in this case the family wanted desperately for this not to be happening – hence the healer and pastor – so I was a little hamstrung regarding any intervention…

  halberts2014 wrote @

So does that mean the baby has already passed on and there are no ways to save it? I suppose 22 weeks is way too early to be born. Sounds horrid, makes me feel so lucky

  halberts2014 wrote @

What a sad weekend. It can’t be easy to be the bearer of such bad news. Hugs to you.
You add plenty of sunshine and happiness to those close to you, they need you

  charliesbird wrote @

It means that although the heart may still beat, it is too small to survive outside of the uterus for very long.


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