Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Does it ever change?

Doers this feeling ever change or go away? With Thandi’s first day at play school looming ahead tomorrow(!), I am left with these churning feelings.

There is an incredible sadness that I am passing this way, never to be here again, mother of a pre-schooler. At that, incredible guilt and feelings of inadequacy too, as the mother who is at work for so many hours a day, with so many other demands on her. Throw in, after a relook surgery on a patient of mine with sepsis after initial surgery, a feeling of inadequacy and fear as a very human doctor.

Will I ever feel good enough – a good enough wife, mom, daughter (haven’t seen my parents who live 3 km from me in a week), doctor, colleague, friend? Today I don’t feel like any of them. Forgive me while I indulge a lump in my throat and tears in the corners of my eyes today. That dark irrational dog is knocking at my door again…

2 Comments»

  Renee wrote @

Your feelings are of a normal parent, wifewe never feel we do enough. But you are lucky to have such a lovely family so count those blessings – thinking of you tomorrow.

  Bianca wrote @

I can totally connect with you on this! The life of a teacher — somewhere between all the marking of books, coaching 3-4 hours of sport and then add matches into that, preparing lessons, being the nurse / councillor/ psychologist / disciplinarian and of course the teacher — And on top of it all find the time to be the mom to busy little boy who starts grade 0 and the sweet fairy who is at play school. The joys of being a working mom. Lots of love xxxx


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