Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

Ponder a moment

…on my dilemma. I love my blog. I love keeping a diary and have for many years, on and off, journalled. This is probably the longest uninterrupted stretch that I have journalled, and it has kept me sane through some dark moments. My dilemma is now that my blog is impacting on the rest of my life, in a rather strange way.

Let me explain. You see, when I started blogging it was all about me and my ‘therapy’, if friends read it, I was thrilled, and it was great for them, particularly my far away friends, to get snap shots of my life. (TAKNAD always says it’s as though we live next door again) As time has gone on, so my readership has grown – I have internet friends reading my blog, strangers who read, far away friends and nearby friends all reading my blog. I love that, that my little blog gets read all over, but there have been some unintended consequences.

Now I don’t get many comments, not that that is why I blog, (but when I have between 50-80 views a day and maybe 2-5 comments a week, it gets a little freaky), but what has evolved is a one way conversation. Many friends who read my blog assume that that is all I have going on, and I have seen my physical, in the same town friendships shrink. No more chats to see how I am doing, no more personal interactions. I guess I am as guilty as the next person, and maybe I haven’t been calling, sms’ing or popping in (didn’t know that was a thing), but I put my days out there, and that’s where it ends.

It’s weird I guess, and maybe I’m just feeling sensitive. Maybe I’m just feeling the pressure of blogging for my unseen audience. But it feels very much like my blog has caused some of my in-the-same-city-friendships to slow down/fall apart/break down. So I’m not sure what to do, do I privatise my blog? Do I start a new one? Do I just quit? I don’t know. Because as I said in the beginning, I like to blog, I love this visual record I am keeping for my daughter, my family and well, just for me. But I feel terribly lonely, and some of that has to do with this blog. Well, I don’t know what I will do, and I’m rambling… But what would you do?

20131118-105015.jpg For this little lady, I’ll do anything…



  Alexandra wrote @

I don’t know you at all but I do enjoy reading your blog here in sunny Joburg (although at times suspect you may just be Superwoman in disguise).

But I can see how it can impact existing friendships. I have seen a similar phenomenon to a lesser extent with facebook – friends feel they are up to date with your life as a result of your posts and therefore don’t feel a pressing need to make actual/physical personal contact.

  Renee wrote @

I love your blog, always so interesting, but I do understand with all new technologies – personal touch is lost. But if it makes you feel good and as you say for your little angel – do it. LOL

  MJ wrote @

I think that you should ‘block me’ … because for me – your blog is like peanut butter – just something that I do! Now that I only have peanut butter every now and then on a slice of bread or a very fresh white roll it is more appreciated – by me and probably the jar of peanut butter too. So at the risk of offending you by comparing you to peanut butter and boycotting you online I am going to switch to a physical / whats app / popper inner relationship – this way, for me it will also be two way and not so one sided. So – SEE YOU IN THE REAL WORLD! XXX

  Gaelyn Cokayne wrote @

I’m discovering the same thing as I am very active online. It also bothers me that I will get 300 views on a post and just one or two comments?! I want to know what people actually think of what I say?!

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