Charlie's Bird

living the dream with Charlie and Thandi and chirping all the way back to the nest.

One of those days

…where I have a lot on my mind and my heart, but not many words to say those thoughts.

I miss my family – seeing them this December, when everything went so much smoother (Yes, I know, a personal atitude adjstment does wonders) has made the longing so much more. Thandi’s joy at waking up in the morning, looking and calling for her ‘cousins!’, seeing her warm up to my brothers and sisters-in-law was so good. And now they are gone again, and we will see them in who knows how many moons time… Last night, while drinking her bottle she was running through their names – Uncle Clivey, Juliet, Annie, Angela, Mappy… so sweet. Spending time with my cousin and his family on Sunday made me sad that we don’t have one of those family tribes, where everyone gets together for noisy rumbunctious celebrations. I know, I know, lots of families do those sorts of things and hate them, but today I miss my family.

I hate that so many of my dearest friends are so far away… I have many here in my hometown too, but I miss those special long distance girlfriends too…

I hate that I am infertile, and that giving my miracle girl a sibling has proven to be such a tough nut to crack. Her little friend across the road came round at 07h00 this morning and the squeals coming out of those 2 before I left for work, made my heart happy…then sad… I’m grateful to my amazing doctor and the lengths he is prepared to go to to try to get us pregnant again, but I feel like a reluctant child getting dragged down the road… If only this was easy… If only there was a right and a wrong, and it was eay to decide what to do…

Ok, so now that I have grumped everyone else too… Thanks my readers for your support and care, you guys make this diary worthwhile… Tomorrow will be a better day – tomorrow we head to a nearby mountain to look at some land… and consider a dream…

5 Comments»

  countesskaz wrote @

I suppose these shite-y days come along every now and again.

Hope tomorrow is brighter. Your little girl is exquisite. those eyes, that smile and that thick hair. Love it!!!

Would you be able to try the invitro thingy-ma-jig one more time? Or is that not possible. You never know?

  Bianca wrote @

Yes, we all have these grumpy, moany days. Better to air it then build it up!

You have the most precious, beautiful little girl and she is so lucky to have you as her mommy! Treasure every moment with her. She will grow up before you know it 🙂

Here’s hoping that tomorrow is a better day 🙂

  drhf wrote @

At the risk of sounding thoughtless which you know I’m not, this should read.
I’m thankful that I have family that I can catch up with in festive times.
That although some of my dearest friends are far away (geez I hope I’m included!!) there is skype, imessage and aeroplanes so that we can keep in touch often.
That I have a gorgeous little girl who just by the fact of being here means that the chances are better that maybe there will be a siblling for her.

All in the spirit of being grateful for everything in 2013. Because the more we get the more we wish we had!!

Remember half way rendezvous’ are great for catching up with family and friends! Here is to Knysna/Plett/Oudtshoorn get together for 2013!!!

i know I’m the idealistic eternal optimist that you would like to kick on days like these, but hey someone has to do it!!

  charliesbird wrote @

I hear you, and am so not offended… I am very aware of my blessings, I am spoilt, but still a dreamer…

  TB wrote @

Trust. Faith. Hope.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: